When we think about how we like to be loved, we don’t often think about giving the love we desire to ourselves.

As women it can be easy to wait for someone else to give you what you want, to think that feeling loved is only something you feel when you’re being shown love by someone else. But there’s a new wave of women who are changing this mindset and proving how empowering it is to show yourself that love, how essential it is to put yourself first and how much better you feel with or without a partner, when you understand how to give yourself love.

Finding how you love to be loved benefits you and any future partners you will be with. When we know how we want to be loved, we can communicate it much more effectively with a loved one and we understand ourselves so much better.

One of the best ways to understand how you like to be loved is by finding out your love language. We all have different desires when it comes to how we want to be loved, whether its words or affirmation, quality time, touch, gifts or acts of service, knowing which one you feel most loved with, can really help you to bring more love into your own life.

If your love language is words of affirmation, it is a good idea to look into how you speak to yourself on a daily basis, make sure you’re not spending your day berating yourself and being negative, maybe bring some positive affirmations into your life by sticking sticky notes around your desk at work or your mirror at home, just to remind yourself how amazing you are and how loved you are.

Quality time means you need to make sure you’re carving out blocks of time just for you – make sure you turn off your phone and won’t be distracted so you can fully enjoy your favourite things, like reading or writing.

Physical touch can be a great excuse to book in some massages for yourself more often, or some other kind of therapy where you’ll experience physical touch and be able to show yourself love that way. Or up your self pleasure time – touch yourself and spend time enjoying your own love.

Acts of service are hard to do alone, however you can get your friends and family involved in this one if you’re single. You could ask your friend to make you dinner one night and you’ll return the favour next week, or you could ask your mum to help you clean your house or look after the children for an evening. Finding little ways to allow others to help you out can be a great way to show yourself that you love yourself and others do too.

And if your love language is gifts, make sure you’re buying yourself a gift now and again, whether it be small or large, from a chocolate bar you don’t normally eat to a new set of beautiful lingerie (like our insert name of set here), when you invest in a gift for yourself you’re showing yourself you love yourself and you know you’re worth it.

Find your love language here https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/

Meet the Author

Hey, I’m Charlotte Emma Johnston, an Intuitive Coach and Healer. I help reconnect women back to their intuitive power so they can embody their magic and radiance, create their dream work life and attract their perfect partner.

Find out more about Charlotte and her work on her website.